4,610 plays

copperbadge:

So, once upon a time I said, “If you can’t tell Captain America what you’re doing, you probably shouldn’t be doing it” and it inspired a poem by Catt Kingsgrave (aka theactualcluegirl​) which eventually led to this pre-release rough-draft single, The Ballad Of Captain America’s Disapproving Face (also available for listening here on SoundCloud). 

I guarantee you will never laugh this hard at any other song that opens with a riff on the Star Spangled Banner. Also there is, if I’m not mistaken, a kazoo cover of Star Spangled Man involved. 

Anyhow, Murder Ballads is working on an album, and if you like the song, consider throwing a few bucks their way to help get their album made.

(The accompanying image up there is by the astonishing Frogbillgo, but is not associated officially with the album.)

788 notes

majored-in-not-dancing:

nerdytransgirl:

undeadthug:

where do grandmas and aunties even buy this shit? It’s not in stores???do they have a dealer who sells to them???? 

OK, IM GONNA LET YOU LITTLE SHITS ON A LITTLE SECRET. YOU CAN GET THOSE CANDIES HERE. BUT THATS NOT ALL!!! THIS FUCKING WEBSITE HAS ALL YOUR FUCKING CANDY NEEDS AND THEN SOME!!!!
NEED SIX POINT SIX POUNDS OF SOUR RAINBOW BELTS???

BAM!!!
ALL FOR UNDER FIFTY FUCKING DOLLARS!!!! BUT HOW ARE WE GOING TO WASH ALL OF THEM DOWN? THERE OBVIOUSLY ISNT ENOUGH SUGAR IN THESE BELTS SO LETS WASH THEM DOWN WITH THIS:

THATS RIGHT, MOTHERFUCKER! THIRTY TWO GODDAMMED OUNCES OF SWEET, SWEET POWDERED STRAWBERRY FLAVOR!!! BUT LET’S NOT GET CARRIED AWAY WITH ALL THIS BECASUE WE’RE GOING TO GRANDMAS, WE’D BETTER GET SOME SHIT FOR HER. AND WHAT BETTER THING TO GET FOR HER THAN SOME SUGAR DADDIES???

THATS RIGHT, THATS 24 SUGAR DADDIES FOR GRAM GRAM. BUT, UH-OH!! LOOKS LIKE WE SPILLED UNCLE H’S BLUE ROCK CANDY ALL OVER THE PLACE!!! WHERE ELSE CAN WE GET 5 POUNDS OF PURE BLUE ROCK CANDY??? RIGHT FUCKING HERE!!!

THIS FUCKING WEBSITE IS SO FUCKING SWEET, IT GIVES YOU DIABETUS JUST BY LOOKING AT IT. NOW DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND GO FIND WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU NEED ON THIS SITE BECAUSE IT IS AWESOME AND I HAVENT COME DOWN OFF MY LAST ORDER OF CANDY YET AND THE NEXT IS ALREADY IN THE MAIL SOMEBODY HELP ME IM NOT AN ADULT I CANT MAKE THESE DECISIONS 

OH MY GOD

majored-in-not-dancing:

nerdytransgirl:

undeadthug:

where do grandmas and aunties even buy this shit? It’s not in stores???do they have a dealer who sells to them???? 

OK, IM GONNA LET YOU LITTLE SHITS ON A LITTLE SECRET. YOU CAN GET THOSE CANDIES HERE. BUT THATS NOT ALL!!! THIS FUCKING WEBSITE HAS ALL YOUR FUCKING CANDY NEEDS AND THEN SOME!!!!

NEED SIX POINT SIX POUNDS OF SOUR RAINBOW BELTS???

BAM!!!

ALL FOR UNDER FIFTY FUCKING DOLLARS!!!! BUT HOW ARE WE GOING TO WASH ALL OF THEM DOWN? THERE OBVIOUSLY ISNT ENOUGH SUGAR IN THESE BELTS SO LETS WASH THEM DOWN WITH THIS:

THATS RIGHT, MOTHERFUCKER! THIRTY TWO GODDAMMED OUNCES OF SWEET, SWEET POWDERED STRAWBERRY FLAVOR!!! BUT LET’S NOT GET CARRIED AWAY WITH ALL THIS BECASUE WE’RE GOING TO GRANDMAS, WE’D BETTER GET SOME SHIT FOR HER. AND WHAT BETTER THING TO GET FOR HER THAN SOME SUGAR DADDIES???

THATS RIGHT, THATS 24 SUGAR DADDIES FOR GRAM GRAM. BUT, UH-OH!! LOOKS LIKE WE SPILLED UNCLE H’S BLUE ROCK CANDY ALL OVER THE PLACE!!! WHERE ELSE CAN WE GET 5 POUNDS OF PURE BLUE ROCK CANDY??? RIGHT FUCKING HERE!!!

THIS FUCKING WEBSITE IS SO FUCKING SWEET, IT GIVES YOU DIABETUS JUST BY LOOKING AT IT. NOW DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND GO FIND WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU NEED ON THIS SITE BECAUSE IT IS AWESOME AND I HAVENT COME DOWN OFF MY LAST ORDER OF CANDY YET AND THE NEXT IS ALREADY IN THE MAIL SOMEBODY HELP ME IM NOT AN ADULT I CANT MAKE THESE DECISIONS 

OH MY GOD

(Source: vieja-solar)

192,045 notes

halfnasty:

ratchetmessreturns:

Damn she put it all out there…. 

Dammmmm

halfnasty:

ratchetmessreturns:

Damn she put it all out there…. 

Dammmmm

69,553 notes

thecrimsonalchemist:

I know everyone is really sad right now so have a video of my three legged dog trying to catch water

28,904 notes

cosmictuesdays:

nadiacreek:

coelasquid:

deformutilated:

Fudge recipe on a headstone

I feel like I should make this just to be able to say a dead person taught me how to make it. Maybe I’ll do it for Halloween.

I desperately hope that she spent her entire life telling people that they could have her fudge recipe “over my dead body.”

That last comment is absolutely worth reblogging.

I am very tempted to make this.

cosmictuesdays:

nadiacreek:

coelasquid:

deformutilated:

Fudge recipe on a headstone

I feel like I should make this just to be able to say a dead person taught me how to make it. Maybe I’ll do it for Halloween.

I desperately hope that she spent her entire life telling people that they could have her fudge recipe “over my dead body.”

That last comment is absolutely worth reblogging.

I am very tempted to make this.

161,939 notes

ladycels:

slvrwind:

zooophagous:

itscolossal:

DIY Glowing Resin Shelves

IM DOING THIS

sold.  Now to find the stuff.

For those curious:
Pigment: GlominexTM Glow Pigment (here)

Resin: Pebeo Gedeo Crystal Resin (here)

153,679 notes

captainstevexxx:

hereinlife13:

These are not mine but I wanted to bring them together!  

http://tohdaryl.tumblr.com/

I love this 

113,544 notes

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

yamino:

pushbuttonkitty:

ottodaymegatron:

toxicnotebook:

KNAPP The Post-War collection A/W 2012/2013

Lord in heaven.

i want these clothes.

Mmmm

STARFLEET

69,359 notes

acquaintedwithrask:

miss-freeman:

somuchawkwerd:

mimibon:

nge:

mimibon:

tree-whispering:

beep beep

What is that!

mim its a lighting bug or whatever they light up

WHAAAAAAT THATS SO COOL HOW DOES HE  DO THAT! ITS JUST A BUG BUT IT LIGHTS UP

lol it had never even occurred to my that there were parts of this planet where lightning bugs are not indigenous

I AM SO JEALOUS I WANT TINY LITTLE BUG LANTERNS 

the fact that people haven’t experienced fireflies/lightning bugs… it just makes me sad, they were such a part of my childhood in Ohio.  Also, ‘bug lanterns’ is maybe the cutest thing i’ve ever heard it my life.

My dad told me stories that if you take off the glowy part it stays glowy. They would make necklaces and things out of them. I’d never seen them till about a month ago. I thought they looked completely different. I thought if you put them in a jar they would glow or all you had to do was shake the jar. I was mistaken.

200,131 notes